"Daria, the Headless Gene Splicer"<BR>
sung to the tune of "Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner" by Warren Zevon, <BR>
from Excitable Boy<BR>
<BR>
Daria was a scientist from the land of limited IQs<BR>
With a centrifuge for hire, gene tamp'ring to do<BR>
Recruited out of MIT on a somewhat cloudy day<BR>
To rent in Ann Arbor on a re-e-search-er's pay<BR>
<BR>
In twenty-oh-six and seven, they wrangled DNA chains<BR>
With their fingers on their pipettes, knee-deep in Graham-negative stain<BR>
Days and nights they battled mutations to their knees<BR>
They spliced to earn their living, and to grow bug-resistant peas<BR>
<BR>
Daria the Gene Splicer...<BR>
<BR>
Her colleages worked beside her, but she couldn't care less<BR>
Eight hours starin' at chromosomes just left her depressed<BR>
Once carelessly she strayed to close to the failed ex-per-i-ments<BR>
That dirty four-assed monkey bit off Daria's head<BR>
<BR>
Daria, the Headless Ge-ene Splicer<BR>
Lawndale's least-favorite daughter<BR>
You can still see her headless body stalking through the lab<BR>
Wishing they hadn't spliced up what they shouldn't-a oughta<BR>
<BR>
Daria said she'd had enough of trying to play God<BR>
Searched in vain for another job, but she looked pretty odd<BR>
She got a lot of interviews and proved she wasn't dead<BR>
But its legal to discriminate against those without a head<BR>
<BR>
The former genetic scientist stopped looking for a gig<BR>
Said she'd rather milk the cows and even slop the pigs<BR>
Called her old friend Tom up, and after some alarm,<BR>
Used his big old fortune to buy an or-gan-ic farm.<BR>