The Road to Maturity
By Thomas

Authors note: This story takes place one month after Daria moved to Lawndale.

(Morgendorffer livingroom. Daria is watching TV. Quinn is standing at the door talking with Jamie. Quinn is holding a stuffed dog in her arms)

Quinn: Thank you Jerry. I love it.

Jamie: Its Jamie. So will you go out with me?

Quinn: Sure, but not today. Come back tomorrow, okay.

(Quinn closes the door in Jamie's face)

Quinn: Isn't it lovely. Almost as cute as I am.

Daria: Aren't you a bit old to play with stuffed toys?

Quinn: Daria, its not a toy. Its an... um... room accessory.

(Daria sighs. The doorbell rings. Quinn opens. Its Joey. He's got a stuffed dino with him)

Joey: Hi Quinn. Look what I got for you.

Quinn: Oh Joey. You shouldn't have. Its lovely. (takes the dino)

Joey: Um... Where did you get that dog?

Quinn: This? My grandmother gave it to me. Now goodbye.

Joey: Wait. Won't you at least go out with...

(Quinn closes the door in Joey's face)

Daria: I don't know whats more pathetic. Your lies or the fact that those boys believe them.

Quinn: Uuuuuh.

(The doorbell rings. Quinn opens. Its Jeffy. He's got a stuffed duck with him)

Jeffy: Hi Quinn. See what I got... Where did you get that dino?

Quinn: This? I won it playing Skee-Ball

Jeffy: And the dog?

Quinn: The dog? That was...

Daria: Your grandmother.

Quinn: My grandmother.

Jeffy: She plays Skee-Ball to?

Quinn: Yes. Now give me that.

(Quinn takes the duck and slams the door in Jeffy's face)

Daria: Maybe it would be easier if you started keeping a lies database.

Quinn: Daria, shut up or I'll tell mom that you're... um... Being a brain in front of my friends.

Daria: Now thats original.

(The doorbell rings. Quinn opens. Its Joey, Jeffy and Jamie)

Jamie: Quinn tell them it isn't true. I'm not your grandmother.

(Quinn laughs nervously)

Daria: (beat) Freshmen.

(Lane's kitchen. Jane is staring into the empty refrigerator. Daria is standing behind her)

Jane: I'm pretty sure we never put any blue food in there. So how can there be a blue spot?

Daria: You know. Someday a shrink will have a field day with this refrigerator fixation of yours.

Jane: (frowns) I hate you. You were saying?

Daria: So finally Quinn had to come clean, but instead of getting mad at her for lying Jeffy, Jeffy and, whatever his name is, promised to buy her a plush giraffe.

Jane: You know freshmen. There is no limit to how immature they can be.

Daria: We were freshmen.

Jane: You maybe. I was undergoing secret military training at an army base on Greenland.

(Daria and Jane walk into the livingroom. They see Trent who has fallen asleep on the sofa)

Jane: Oh look. Doesn't Trent look lovely when he's asleep.

Daria: (mumbles) Not really.

Jane: Go on Daria. This is the moment you've been waiting for. You can touch him and he'll newer even know.

Daria: (blushes) Jane, words can't express how much I hate you right now.

(Jane sits on Trent's lap and puts her arms around him)

Jane: Mmmmm. He's so comfortable. (smirks) Sure you don't want to sit here?

Daria: (buries her face in her hands) Blood, blood.

(Suddenly Trent awakes and stands up. Jane falls to the floor hitting her head)

Trent: Officer, I swear I didn't see the... Jane?

Jane: (moaning) Aaaaaaaaaah...

Daria: Ha! I hope that hurt.

(Jane snarls)

Daria: Eeep!

(Daria flees the room with Jane in pursuit)

Trent: (beat) Highschoolers.

(The Tank. Jesse is driving Trent is riding shotgun)

Trent: I had to get out of the house. My sister and her friend were driving me crazy. Fighting like little kids.

Jesse: Hey man. You know how immature highschoolers can be. They're just not like us.

Trent: We were highschoolers.

Jesse: You maybe, I got expelled remember.

Trent: Right. So where are we going?

Jesse: The 3'th rock bar. They're having a wet T-shirt contest.

Trent: Awright.

THE END