(Daria's room. Daria is watching TV)

TV: Dane writes meta fiction. Now on Sick, Sad World.

(Quinn walks over to her)

Quinn: Can I borrow your computer? Dad borrowed mine and now he won't give it back.

Daria: I warned you not to install that solitaire game.

Quinn: So can I borrow yours?

Daria: Fifteen.

Quinn: Deal. But then I want your help in case I need it.

Daria: Okay.

(Quinn sits at the computer, turns it on and starts the word processor)

Quinn: You can start helping me how. I want to write a story, and I could use some input.

Daria: I suddenly get the feeling you outsmarted me. Only thats impossible. (walks over toQuinn)

Quinn: (smirks) Had to happen sooner or later.

Daria: I feel, I should do something to prevent it from happening again. Now where did I leave that piano wire.

Quinn: Daria! I need some help here.

Daria: (sigh) What's it about?

Quinn: I thought, I should try and write a piece of fiction to put out on the Internet. You know, just to be able to impress my dates by calling myself a writer.

Daria: As long as you're not doing it for money.

Quinn: I thought, I should write fan fiction. What do you think?

Daria: Fan fiction? Only someone looking for an easy way out would do that. You don't have to worry about the scenery, creating characters and introducing them.

Quinn: Exactly. I knew you'd understand. (pause) Here is what I have in mind. A Sailor Moon story. I'll write a story that introduces a new villain. Sailor Danielle. She's this poet, only her poems are so bad that people have to hold their hands to their ears in order not to listen to them. She holds the paper with her left hand and fights Sailor Moon with her right.

Daria: Aren't you worried about self reference?

Quinn: What do you mean?

Daria: If its a bad story, your readers might think you're a Danielle.

Quinn: Oh yeah. (pause) How about this then. A Buffy story. Buffy really has a twin but they got separated at birth. Now she shows up in Sunnydale and becomes a second slayer who helps Buffy fight vampires. I'll call it "The Slay Alike Story".

Daria: Isn't that kind of creepy?

Quinn: What do you mean?

Daria: Having a girl show up who looks and behaves just like yourself. I know, I wold be freaked out it that happened to me.

Quinn: Oh yeah.

(Flashback (1). Stacy's room.Quinn is lying on the bed. Stacy is inside her closet. She emerges dressed likeQuinn)

Quinn: What're you wearing?

Stacy: What do you want me to wear?

Quinn: And what's that?

Stacy: I thought we could color our hair the same shade.

Quinn: You're right. (shudders) That would be freaky. (pause) Then what about this? A Star Trek fic.

Daria: You watch Star Trek?

Quinn: I only watched some episodes. I think Dax from Deep Space Nine looks kind of cool with those spots on her neck. I hope it becomes fashionable someday.

Daria: But if you got a tattoo on the neck. What would you do when it wasn't fashionable anymore.

Quinn: Have it removed of course. Now here is my idea. Dax really has an older brother she knew nothing about and who decides to look her up. He's really rich but doesn't want her to know, so he pretends to be poor.

Daria: What's the point of using Star Trek then?

Quinn: What do you mean?

Daria: What you describe isn't actually bad. But its definitely melodrama. If you're using the characters of a science fiction show. Shouldn't you also be writing science fiction?

Quinn: Can't science fiction be melodramatic?

Daria: I suppose. But If you have a plot that might as well take place in our time. I doubt it'll get better from throwing aliens at it.

Quinn: (sighs) I guess. (pause) Now I know. I'll write a Harry Potter fanfic. Voldemort has a son whom he sends to Hogwarts. His name is Voldegreen. But instead of doing any magic trick himself, he starts reviewing all of Harry and his friends tricks. Some of the magicians takes side with him. And they have this huge fight.

Daria: Hmmm. That could work. But I'm afraid its to advanced for the Potter crowd.

Quinn: You think so? But what can I write about?

Daria: How about yourself.

Quinn: Myself?

Daria: You write a story about your own life but with different names. That way you can write something original. But without having to create your own characters.

Quinn: Please Daria. What kind of loser would want to read about our life?

Daria: It doesn't have to be accurate. You could add some details of your own. Like Sandi going insane or Stacy being a lesbian.

Quinn: Eeeeeew! Thats disgusting. (pause) But I like your idea. Thanks Daria.

(Quinn starts writing. Cut to the screen)

How the Fashion Princess Defeated the Evil Sarcasm Queen
By Quinn Morgendorffer


Once upon a time

(Off Camera) Daria: Okay. Piano wire it is.

(Off Camera) Quinn: If you kill me now you won't get payed.

(Off Camera) Daria: Damn.

THE END

(1) "Gifted"