Parenting, Smarenting IV
By Thomas

Authors note: In "Psycho Therapy" we see Quinn complaining about not getting a facial. But assuming thats not all she did. What else did she and the shrink talk about.

(At the retreat. Quinn is in a session with the psychiatrist)

Quinn: ... so then Sandi and I decided to borrow each other a dress for the party. Only her dress was two years old and to small for me. I tell you. Sometimes I think she's out to get me. Like its not bad enough with Daria trying to get me.

Psychiatrist: What makes you think Daria should be out to get you?

Quinn: She is. All the time. Even when I'm close to dying, she makes fun of me...

(Flashback. Quinn's room in Highland. Quinn, age 11, is laying in bed. Helen and Jake are sitting next to her. Helen is holding Daria, age 12, in her arms. Quinn and Daria's faces and hands are full of red spots)

Helen&Jake: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Quinn, happy birthday to you.

Helen: Daria, why aren't you singing?

Daria: Because its not a happy birthday when you have chicken pox.

(Helen sighs)

Quinn: She's right. But it could be if you let me have a party.

Helen: Quinn, we already explained, several times in fact, that you can't have a party as long as you're contagious. You don't want your friends to get sick as well. Now do you?

Quinn: But I already invited them. Jessica, Mandy, Christina and Timmy, Tyrone and Tabadeus will be disappointed.

Jake: Who's Tabadeus?

Daria: She means Tobias.

Quinn: Its not fair. Why didn't you just send Daria away after she got sick?

Helen: Quinn!

Jake: Now here is your present. (hands Quinn a big package) From your mother and me.

Quinn: Don't I get anything from Daria?

Helen: Daria can't buy a gift as long as she's to sick to go anywhere. She'll give you one as soon as she gets better.

Daria: But I did give you a gift. (smirk) I gave you chicken pox, didn't I?

(Quinn fumes)

Psychiatrist: Don't you think this might have been your own fault?

Quinn: What do you mean?

Psychiatrist: Surely it must have been very painful for your sister, to hear you suggest she should be sent away. If you hadn't said that, maybe Daria wouldn't have said what she said.

Quinn: Like Daria could feel anything. (smirk) Well thats not entirely true. She does feel something.

(Flashback. Quinn's room. Helen is giving Quinn a glass of water)

Helen: Now as soon as the doctor finishes examining Daria, she'll come in here.

Quinn: But I don't want to get examined.

(Helen looks cross at Quinn)

Quinn: (meek) Yes mom.

(Off camera) Daria: AAAAAAAAAAH!

(Off camera) Doctor: Daria, I need to listen to your heart.

(Off camera) Daria: But your stethoscope is cold.

Quinn: God, Daria is such a pain wimp.

Helen: Don't say that. Your sister is not a pain wimp.

(Off camera) Daria: AAAAAAAAAAH!

(Off camera) Doctor: Daria, I refuse to believe it hurts, when I look you in the ear.

(Helen buries her face in her hands)

(About 15 minutes later. The doctor is examining Quinn)

Doctor: Say "aaah".

Quinn: (sticks her tongue out) Aaaaah.

Doctor: Very good.

Quinn: So what'll you do about Daria?

Doctor: Don't worry about her. Another week and she should be up and running.

Quinn: I mean about the blood.

Doctor: What blood?

Quinn: She coughs up blood. She tries to hide it. But I've seen it.

Doctor: (suspiciously) Now you wouldn't be lying to me to get your sister into trouble. Would you?

Quinn: (fake smile) Who, me?

(Another 15 minutes later. Quinn is laying in bed with a big smile on her face)

(Off camera) Doctor: I decided to take a blood sample. Now this may hurt just a little bit.

(Off camera) Daria: AAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(Off camera) Doctor: Daria, I haven't touched you yet.

THE END