Girl Scout Nightmares
By Thomas
Authors note: In "Partners Complaint" we see Jane and Brittany planning
to buy a car. But assuming thats not all they did. What else did they talk
about.
(Pizza Palace. Jane and Brittany are sharing a pizza)
Jane: Now before we go down to Honest Lee, we need to find out what to ask him. I'm thinking that you can talk about what the car should look like. Then I can ask about the technical stuff, like what's standard and what costs extra.
Brittany: Gee Jane. You're really good at this. Its almost like last time we were on a business venture together.
Jane: What're you talking about?
Brittany: You know. Back when we were Girl Scouts.
Jane: Girl Scouts (shudders).
(Flashback. Jane, age 12, is riding in a car with Trent, age 17. Jane is
wearing her Girl Scouts uniform)
Jane: Dammit Trent. You were supposed to pick me up an hour ago. Now I'm going to be late, again.
Trent: It wasn't my fault. Mr O'Neill hates me. He gave me detention just because I wrote on his car with soap.
Jane: Aren't you worried, you'll get expelled someday?
Trent: Naaa. Ms Li won't have me expelled for that. She hates the teachers just as much as I do.
Jane: Well, now my instructor Mrs Stoller (1) is going to hate me for being late.
Trent: Oh yeah. She was my teacher in first grade. I hated her.
(The Girl Scouts club house. The Scouts, among them Brittany, age 12, are sitting
in a circle listening to Mrs Stoller)
Mrs Stoller: So then the Scouts said to Juliette Gordon Low...
(Jane comes in)
Mrs Stoller: Jane, you're tardy.
Brittany: You mean they didn't know her real name?
Jane: My brother was late picking me up.
Mrs Stoller: You seem to blame your brother for a lot of things. If I recall, you also said he ate all your cookies, causing your present cookie debt. Luckily you now have a chance to make up for it.
Jane: We have to sell cookies again?
Mrs Stoller: Jane, this is serious. Many successful businesswomen today say they got their start selling Girl Scout cookies. During cookie activities, girls are members of a team working towards a common goal, with each girl striving to do her best. They also practice other useful life skills, such as goal setting and planning, decision-making, dealing with customers, handling money, working with a team, and knowing the satisfaction of a job well done (2).
Jane: You've said that sentence a lot of times, haven't you?
Mrs Stoller: Jane Lane, I believe some respect for your elders would be in order here. Have you got any idea how long I've been with the Girl Scouts?
Jane: Since the beginning?
Brittany: Wow, Mrs Stoller, I didn't know you were that old.
(The other girls giggles. Mrs Stoller looks cross at Jane and Brittany)
(Jane and Brittany are walking down the street in a very exclusive neighborhood.
They're carrying cookies in their arms)
Brittany: (looks around) Wow, the houses here are even bigger than where I live. And I thought my dad was the riches man in the world.
Jane: Yeah, Mrs Stoller really knows how to punish someone.
Brittany: What do you mean?
Jane: I mean, that even if our route is just as long as that of the other girls. It contains not even a third as many houses. This way we'll hardly sell any cookies. The other girls will think its our own fault, and get mad at us.
Brittany: But I don't think anyone could get mad at me.
Jane: You're right. I'm the one they'll get mad at.
Brittany: But if the people who live here are really rich, then maybe one of them will buy all our cookies.
Jane: Or let the dogs loose on us.
(Jane and Brittany walk up to a house and rings the bell. Upchuck, age 12, answers)
Upchuck: And what have we here, Girl Scouts. Come to sell the cookies of love no doubt.
Brittany: We are? I thought they were walnut.
Jane: Will you buy any?
Upchuck: Buy any? I'll buy them all. (to Brittany) If you give me a kiss for every cookie.
(A short while later. Jane and Brittany are still carrying their cookies
around)
Jane: I understand why you kicked that boy in the balls. But couldn't you have waited until after he gave us the money?
Brittany: You think we should go back?
Jane: Better not. Maybe we'll have more luck at this house.
(Jane and Brittany walk up to the Sloane's house)
(Cut to behind a shrubbery where Tom and Elsie, age 12 and 10, are lying
in hiding. They both have evil smiles on their faces. A Great Dane sits between
them)
Tom: Ready for some anti-Scout measures?
Elsie: Ready. Can we let the dog eat one of them this time?
Tom: Better not. I heard Girl Scouts are poisonous.
(A while later. Jane and Brittany are running down the street. They stop
as they run out of air)
Jane: (trying to catch her breath) I think we lost them.
Brittany: (crying) That boy and that girl. They told the dog to kill us. And now we lost all of our cookies.
Jane: And I though my cookie debt couldn't get any bigger.
Brittany: Maybe I can help you with that. I got 50 my dad gave me.
Jane: (pause) Brittany, did you just say you got 50 bucks on you.
Brittany: Yeah.
Jane: Couldn't you have said so sooner?
Brittany: Why?
(Back to Pizza Palace)
Brittany: And I thought that was really smart of you. Using my money to buy our own cookies, so we wouldn't have to sell them. Although I still don't understand how we could buy them when we lost them at that house.
Jane: Maybe they still have them. You could go there and ask to have them back.
Brittany: You think so? But I can't remember what house it was.
Jane: Me neither. But one thing I'll never forget is the look on that boys face. All twisted with hate. Even if I met him after all these years I'd still recognize him instantly.
(Tom walks over to them)
Tom: Mind if I join you?
Jane: Not at all. Me and Brittany were just reminiscing over our Girl Scout days.
Tom: You were a Girl Scout? You never told me that. (sits down and takes a slice)
Brittany: Were you a Scout?
Tom: (smiles) No I was more of an anti-Scout. Me and my sister used to lay in hiding and chase them with dogs.
(Jane and Brittany stare angry at Tom)
Tom: What?
THE END
(1) "Lucky Strike"
(2) Copied from the official Girl Scout homepage.